It seems like there are some things that just shouldn't happen. Something that's just a mistake in the story that we're writing and we can go back to fix it all up. But we can't. It shouldn't happen. It does. It is and will be no matter how much it hurts. So what can you say? Today, a group of us stood under some trees down at a park and experienced something very few of us had experienced before. Some mourned the loss of a friend. Some the loss of a teammate. Others just the loss of a kid who shouldn't have a mourning group right now. It's a kid who should be hanging out with his friends right now. A few weeks ago he scores a state championship winning goal. Now, instead of continued celebration, he leaves a group of guys that are no longer the 2005 state champions. From February 15 until early this morning, we were. Now we are just a group of guys who played soccer together. Now we all take our prescriptions and go the the pharmacist, pick up our precautionary medication, and swallow the most bitter, most painful pill of our lives. As his friends and teammates, we join other friends and acquaintances in disbelief. We all just sit on the grass, stand against the fence, bury our faces in our hands, look off in the distance. That's all there is to do. Everyone there was part of something that not a single person wanted to be a part of. We can say it's not fair. It isn't. We can say it wasn't his time. It wasn't. We can search for consolation by saying that everything happens for a reason. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. But it happened. It was sudden, unexpected, and rare. But it happened. They'll be an article in the papers in the morning. It'll be on the evening news. Everyone who hears about it that didn't know him will say "That's too bad." For everyone who knew him, it just makes it more real. I feel like I should be doing something now. But there's nothing to do. There's no absolution anywhere. Only pain, for everyone who knew him, everyone who was close to him. I wasn't even close friends with him, but it's still damn hard. Stuff like this shouldn't happen. We should be able to learn about death without anyone dying. I'm sure everyone who is affected by it will take something away from it all. I don't know what I will take away. I don't like thinking that I'm gaining anything from something like this. That's all I've got. It hurts for us all, it will for a while. Life goes on, until it doesn't.
Chris, it's been fun.
-alex
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